26-11-2018                                                                                                          00:01
dear diary,
kal25-11-2017 ko poor 1 sal ho gya hume mile hue.. but inn ek saal mai kabhi umeed nai ki thi ki hum hamesha hamesha ke liye alg ho jayenge...
pata hi nai chala hum kab alg hue..
kyu hue..
bas farman aaya aur...

koshish bhi ki but fail....
kami hai na mujhme bhut kami hai......
manti hun nai samaj aata ki samne wala kya chaata hai.. hn nai samaj pay inn 3 saalo mai... koi bhagwan hun kya jo mann mai chal raha hai samaj paun...
kaii baar toh samaj hi nai aata


mai apne apko hi nai samj paii... hadd hai yarr... sach hai sahi bolte ho nai hai understanding mujhme...

mai rooti hun mujhe nai pata ki bhuk lagi hai isliye roti hun ya chidchidate hun yehii mujhe baad mai pata chala..
khud sochna chaiye ki jab mai khud ko nai samaj paii toh kisi aur ko kaisey samju..


koi nai mai nai kar patti..
hn bhut kami hai mujhme ...

mai khin ghumne jaun toh tumhe koi fark nai padta... koi feeling nai hai  tume ..enjoy kar rahi ho apni life ko... aur jab khud  dosto ke saath enjoy karte ho...badia yarr
ab iss baat ka bolo toh jhagda karte hoo ...

my foot mai koi baat rakhu toh jhagda  ke naam kutch bhii..

khud alag hona chahte ho toh mai kya krru...
mil gyi hogi ayushi ya anchal ya koi aur...


acha haai nai ho normal ab

kutch din aur baasss

jis din jeena sekh lungi na fir kabhi nai mud kar dekhungii..



fir mann mai yaahi khyl aata hai ki "kash mujhe tumhare bina jeena aata"


plz bhawan ji plz mujhe uske bina jeena seeekha doo..

sachi mujhe likhte hue bhi bhut haasi aa rahi hai yarr..
kya karuu



deeksha..

22-11-2018                                                                                                 23:22
Dear Diary,
        pataa ni q uske aane ka ehsaas hota hai... kash wo wqt wapis aaja..kash wo sab kutch purane jaisa ho jata... aaj poora 1 mahina ho gya hai aur jo bola tha wo sach bhi ho gya....
1) ki hum ab kabhi nai milenge ya yeh humare shyd akhri mulaqat ho .......
aur dekho parso phone par bol diya ki aaj ke baad hum kabhi nai milenge...
bus akhe=ri baaar baat hui thi aur mere shabd thee ki i hate u ... i hate u...
esa kyu thaa kyu mai itna attach ho gyi thii kyu mai paglo wala yar karte thii... kyu..

kabhi kabhi sochti hun ki kash mujhe uske bina jeena aata....
kyu har waqt har jagah uski kami hoti hai...
kyu maine apni life mai usko itni jagah dii

kya mere payar  ki door itni kamzor thi ki itni jaldi toot jayegii....????

aisey kya khata ho gyi hai mujhse  jo hum ek dosre se alag ho gye....

aaj bhi har jagah sabse pehle kyu mai uske baare mai sochtii hun.. jabki jaante hun usko koi fark nai padd raha....

kyu bhagwanjii..
mujhe uske bina jeena seekha doo.....

mai q nai bhool pa rahi shayd time lagee  but mai bhut ache se jaante hun ki agar mai kisi se ek baar attach hp jaun toh shyd zindagi bhar usey bhul nai paati hun

yeh baat bhut ache se jante hun mai...
i mis him... kash wo waqt wapis aa jata toh kitna  acha hota....

aaj mishtu se mili thii uske ghR KE BHAR WO KITne khush thii

hume laga khin wo nai ho warna wo humko dekh kar unka mood oor off ho jata jo ki humko acha nai lagta yarr..


kal bhi hum unke call ka wait karte rahe ki shyd ab aayega sorry bol denge.... but aab umeed bhi chod di hai ki sab kutch purane jaisa ho jayeega .....

ek zindagii mai uske sath jeena chhati thii... kkash wo mauka mujhe mil jata... kash wo mann jate..
kash humare beech pyar hota toshyd hum ek doosre ke baare mai baat karte apne hisabh se zindagii jjee sakte ... kash himmat hoti ... kash 1 zindagii bita saktee aii...
kash .. kash... kash......

good night


Deeksha Chaurasia

22-11-2018                                                                                                 23:22
Dear Diary,
        pataa ni q uske aane ka ehsaas hota hai... kash wo wqt wapis aaja..kash wo sab kutch purane jaisa ho jata... aaj poora 1 mahina ho gya hai aur jo bola tha wo sach bhi ho gya....
1) ki hum ab kabhi nai milenge ya yeh humare shyd akhri mulaqat ho .......
aur dekho parso phone par bol diya ki aaj ke baad hum kabhi nai milenge...
bus akhe=ri baaar baat hui thi aur mere shabd thee ki i hate u ... i hate u...
esa kyu thaa kyu mai itna attach ho gyi thii kyu mai paglo wala yar karte thii... kyu..

kabhi kabhi sochti hun ki kash mujhe uske bina jeena aata....
kyu har waqt har jagah uski kami hoti hai...
kyu maine apni life mai usko itni jagah dii

kya mere payar  ki door itni kamzor thi ki itni jaldi toot jayegii....????

aisey kya khata ho gyi hai mujhse  jo hum ek dosre se alag ho gye....

aaj bhi har jagah sabse pehle kyu mai uske baare mai sochtii hun.. jabki jaante hun usko koi fark nai padd raha....

kyu bhagwanjii..
mujhe uske bina jeena seekha doo.....

mai q nai bhool pa rahi shayd time lagee  but mai bhut ache se jaante hun ki agar mai kisi se ek baar attach hp jaun toh shyd zindagi bhar usey bhul nai paati hun

yeh baat bhut ache se jante hun mai...
i mis him... kash wo waqt wapis aa jata toh kitna  acha hota....

aaj mishtu se mili thii uske ghR KE BHAR WO KITne khush thii

hume laga khin wo nai ho warna wo humko dekh kar unka mood oor off ho jata jo ki humko acha nai lagta yarr..


kal bhi hum unke call ka wait karte rahe ki shyd ab aayega sorry bol denge.... but aab umeed bhi chod di hai ki sab kutch purane jaisa ho jayeega .....


good night


Deeksha Chaurasia

22/10/2018                                         
Dear Diary,

i am so sorry mai late post kr rahe hun mai aa jii ke saath touchwood resort gyi thii..
unhone new market se pick up kr liya thaa fir hum log touhwood resort gye whn dinner liya. bhut acha laga natural beauty.fir humne almost bhopal ghuma car se...
Kash wo mere zindagii mai permannemt hote toh kitna acha hota.. unse acha mujhe koii nai samaj sakta

papa mummy ke jaane ke baad ek wahin insaan laga ki jo mujhe samaj sakta hai but wo mere kismat mai hai hii nai...

kash bhagwan ji wo mere kismat mai ho




deeksha